I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
