we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
