Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
