I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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