is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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