i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
