I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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