"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
