if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
