That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
