There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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