adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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