that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
