did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Are my feet made of real feet?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
