do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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