I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
