the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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