I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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