And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
