I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
