how can u be prego again
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
