Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
