those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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