11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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