I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
