i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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