dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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