p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
