All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize