just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
