that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize