sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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