I accidentally had phone sex last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
