This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize