the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
