I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
