There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
