I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize