i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have fence marks all over my body
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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