you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
