if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
