your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
