all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
