You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
