it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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