Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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