I think i peed on brittanys purse
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Omg I joined a choir last night...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
