I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
