You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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