And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
