I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
