I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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