I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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