Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
