I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
