i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
then he tried to convert me to islam
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
