He is like the real live version of the state fair..
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
