he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize