I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your mouth is God's brothel.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
