She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize