No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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