if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
