worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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