i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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