I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
