dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We're too hungover to prance.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
