He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
