You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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