I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
