fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
