i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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