guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize