We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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