I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
