the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
