Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He? As in you personified your dick?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
