Moan for me like Helen Keller
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
