oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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