remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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