My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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