Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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