Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I am morally bankrupt
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize