i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
