i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
