8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Alive.
So much puke
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
