I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
